I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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