I want to stick my p in your. b.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
