i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
operation harelip BJ is a go
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
