Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize