OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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