I could make wine with my vomit
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize