Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
