You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Welp...herpes.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
