i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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