No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
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Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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