i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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