Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
