I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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