i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
