I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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