its not stalking. its research.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
