They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
