Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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