Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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