I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it