Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way

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  (215): Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger" (215): i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way http://tfl.nu/i786
  Replies (16) Good night (2906) Bad night (902)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.

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  (305): he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me. http://tfl.nu/04rv
  Replies (32) Good night (5250) Bad night (1937)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist

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  (301): dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist http://tfl.nu/26ue
  Replies (6) Good night (5034) Bad night (1133)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.

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  (217): The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time. http://tfl.nu/mdb9
  Replies (105) Good night (1445) Bad night (6444)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

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  (917): I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant http://tfl.nu/lnj1
  Replies (40) Good night (5031) Bad night (1669)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok

  (850): View more from Florida

  They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good

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  (850): I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok (850): They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good http://tfl.nu/qtm7
  Replies (10) Good night (6588) Bad night (1866)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?

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  (248): Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet? http://tfl.nu/so9l
  Replies (9) Good night (2210) Bad night (1818)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.

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  (517): Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise. http://tfl.nu/o3um
  Replies (12) Good night (3531) Bad night (1034)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic

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  (701): I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic http://tfl.nu/cgi2
  Replies (3) Good night (2197) Bad night (1661)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?

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  (405): Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night? http://tfl.nu/sl90
  Replies (14) Good night (863) Bad night (1474)
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  (916): View more from California

  On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome

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  (916): On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome http://tfl.nu/qd8h
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (343)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.

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  (812): I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least. http://tfl.nu/mb2n
  Replies (4) Good night (359) Bad night (455)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml

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  (203): My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml http://tfl.nu/zovi
  Replies (5) Good night (370) Bad night (718)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later

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  (574): I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later http://tfl.nu/xueh
  Replies (5) Good night (853) Bad night (393)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...

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  (608): We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man... http://tfl.nu/qmi3
  Replies (1) Good night (561) Bad night (146)

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