So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
