Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
