i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
