Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault" http://tfl.nu/a193
  Replies (16) Good night (1518) Bad night (6385)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys http://tfl.nu/7ncb
  Replies (17) Good night (4902) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever. http://tfl.nu/8efz
  Replies (33) Good night (661) Bad night (8099)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile. http://tfl.nu/y44t
  Replies (27) Good night (756) Bad night (7071)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  even your uterus rejects him.

  (1-562): View more from California

  apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): even your uterus rejects him. (1-562): apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body. http://tfl.nu/g0cm
  Replies (7) Good night (5297) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year. http://tfl.nu/dota
  Replies (4) Good night (2922) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart. http://tfl.nu/4ahf
  Replies (14) Good night (3547) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): 2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year http://tfl.nu/2ypx
  Replies (7) Good night (1864) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for." http://tfl.nu/4ze1
  Replies (8) Good night (2405) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded. http://tfl.nu/fg0e
  Replies (6) Good night (5683) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now http://tfl.nu/dal2
  Replies (15) Good night (566) Bad night (2638)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (763): The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/um2t
  Replies (2) Good night (657) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Damnit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning (1-832): Damnit. http://tfl.nu/shac
  Replies (2) Good night (483) Bad night (333)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari http://tfl.nu/g3b8
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (425)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong. http://tfl.nu/brwn
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (677)

Randomize