I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
