Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
