We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
