Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You can't motorboat a personality
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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