whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
