My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
