Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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