Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
