She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
