just come out here and I will go home with you...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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