Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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