Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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