But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
