Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
