I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize