i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
