so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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