She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize