You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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