He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
my liver is dry heaving
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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