if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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