I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Panties = found
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
