You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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