YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Randomize
