hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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