you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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