You can't motorboat a personality
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
