He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
