Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
