a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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