I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize