Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
