...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
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I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
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dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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