We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
