Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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