Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
