I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
