Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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