I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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